Who am I?
by fallenfrmgrace
Summary: A double homicide suspect targets Sara. Will Grissom be able to save her?
1. Shake n Bake

Sara Sidle popped her gum loudly as she began to print the interior of the 97 Cavalier Warrick Brown had brought in from the homicide they had been working. The car, as well as the 29 year old woman stuffed in the trunk, had been found dumped in the middle of the desert. It had been there about 3 days.  
  
"Just don't open the trunk in here," Warrick warned.  
  
"How bad?," Sara questioned, not sure she really needed to ask.  
  
"Doc is calling this case 'shake n bake'," Warrick grinned, then walked out oif the garage to join Robbins in the morgue.  
  
Sara sighed. She didn't have to open the trunk. She could smell it in the car.  
  
"Sara?," Grissom's voice made her jump and almost hit her head. "Careful. Don't hurt yourself."  
  
"Gris what do you need?," she asked as politely as her bitterness toward him would allow. She turned around to face him.  
  
"Find anything?," he asked.  
  
"Not a damn thing," she said, avoiding his gaze. "Its like someone kept it in a garage wrapped in plastic."  
  
Just as the words came out of her mouth something caught her eye. A single strand of blonde hair was caught in the headrest. She shone her flashlight on it and reached out the car door to open her field kit. She retrieved her tweezers.  
  
"What did you find?," Grissom questioned, watching her careful movements.  
  
"Our vic is a brunette, right?," she was telling him rather than asking, but he nodded anyway. "Then we may have our suspect."

----

Greg Sanders peered through the comparison microscope at the two separate carpet samples from the case Catherine Willows and Nick Stokes were on. Catherine stood not far away, watching him closely.  
  
"Its definately a match," Greg sighed. "Which tells you nothing but your vic was murdered in their own house. I would have made that deduction after seeing the large pool of blood in the living room, but...."  
  
"Greg," she cut him off. "It tells me alot. You'll learn that soon."  
  
She smiled at him and patted his back. Then she walked out of the lab. 

----  
  
Nick carefully shone his flashlight all around the perimeter of the living room. He couldn't believe Catherine had left him there alone. The now drying blood on the floor wasn't easy to avoid, especially with the power out in the house.  
  
The uniforms had left which meant Nick was alone, but an odd feeling told him he wasn't. He carefully stepped past the blood and made his way to the dining room door. It was an awefully large house for a single man.  
  
Suddenly a hand rested on Nick's shoulder. He fumbled with his gun, unable to unholster it. He wheeled around and came face to face with Catherine.  
  
"Jumpy?," she teased, walking past him into the dining room.  
  
"I thought you were back at the lab."  
  
"Greg said the carpet is a match."  
  
"And the blood?"  
  
"He'll beep me."  
  
"But the rugs a match?"  
  
"I said that Nicky."  
  
"So he was killed here. Why aren't there marks from him being drug out of here?"  
  
"Not his blood?"  
  
"Maybe its the suspect's."  
  
Catherine shrugged. Nick looked down at the blood. He glanced over at Catherine who appeared to be lost in thought.  
  
"What?," he questioned, and she glanced over at him. She responded in a hushed tone, keeping eye contact with him.  
  
"We're not alone."


	2. Same Guy

"So why 'shake n bake'?," Sara questioned, looking at the lifeless body of Vanessa Morini, the woman from the car.  
  
"Scrambled eggs," was Doctor Albert Robbins' response. He looked up and met her gaze.  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"No, Sar," Warrick stepped in to explain. "The killer inserts a knife into the skull from the point where the spinal column meets the skull. Then he, well, shakes it. Turns the brain to mush. And the bake...."  
  
"I got that part," she interupted, noting the heat blisters on the woman's flesh.  
  
"Cause of death?," Robbins added. "I think Warrick gave you enough information."  
  
Sara smirked, glad she didn't have to go through the explaination again. Her pager echoed through the morgue.  
  
----  
  
Catherine and Sara both reached the lab at the same time. Greg picked his head up, mumbling something about his fantasies and directing them both to the same microscope. Both women exchanged a confused glance, but go along without a word. They both looked at the hair under the scope.  
  
"Ladies, allow me to introduce you to your suspect," Greg smirked. "The DNA I recovered from the hair belongs to a Glen Albright. Two priors, kidnapping and rape. And I can tell from your expressions at least one of you wants to kiss me."  
  
"Nice try Greg," Sara said standing up straight. "What do you mean by 'our' suspect?"  
  
"The blood Catherine and nick swabbed from their vic's house belongs to Miss Vanessa Morini," he added. You're looking for the same guy."  
  
----  
  
Nick walked down the hallway toward the locker room. He was still shaky, but relieves that their company in the house had only been a dog. Luckily a friendly dog, but huge. It was the biggest damn german shepard he'd ever seen.  
  
Catherine had gone to answer Greg's page and he decided he may need to change his pants. He knew she'd never let him live this down. He was glad he was wearing black pants. He just prayed he hadn't contaminated the crime scene. 


	3. Threatening Interogation

Grissom looked out of his office just in time to see Sara walk by. He froze when she stopped and walked back towards his office door. She peeked her head in.  
  
"There's something you should know about both cases," she said quickly, then waited until she knew he was listening. "Same killer. Same primary crime scene."  
  
"The murders were related?," he asked, trying to sound normal and pulling it off. She made him nervous.  
  
"I just said that," she smirked. "When you catch up, I'll be in interrogation with Brass and our suspect."  
  
With that, she calmly walked away.  
  
It took everything in him to not run to her side. He waited for a moment and walked slowly to the obsevation room.  
  
----  
  
Greg wheeled his chair across the room. He was bored and it seemed everyone was at this interrogation. Sometimes he wished he didn't get everything done as fast as he did. Then he'd have something to do. Of course, if he was slow about things he'd probably lose his job.  
  
He spun around in the chair a few times before he up to go make some coffee.  
  
----  
  
Sara stayed relatively calm. 'Is he actually staring at me?,' she thought, disgusted as she glanced at the suspect, who was undoubtedly staring at her.  
  
From the other side of the two way mirror, Grissom clenched his fist to avoid letting Catherine and Nick know what he was thinking. Catherine looked at his closed fist then up at his emotionless face. She'd known him long enough to know when there was something bothering him. This was definately one of those times. She had a sudden realization. The suspect was hitting on Sara.  
  
"Gil?," she had asked the question without voicing it, certain he would get the point.  
  
"Nick get her out of there," he ordered. "Cath you stay here. This guy's a pig. I don't want you two around him."  
  
Catherine waited for Nick to clear the room.  
  
"Or is it because he's hitting on her?"  
  
"You know I'd be the same way with you," he reasoned. "I'm looking out for my team."  
  
----  
  
Nick knocked and entered the interrogation room.  
  
"Sara, Grissom wants you out of here," he drawled. "I'll take it from here."  
  
So he wanted her out, huh? She didn't want him playing the protector with her. It just confused her more. She opened the door to the observation room, not suprised to find Grissom and Catherine there.   
  
"What, am I five?," she accused, staring at Grissom. Why won't you let me handle myself?"  
  
"You were handling yourself nicely," he remarked, glancing at Catherine who had a stern look on her face. "I just didn't want you in the middle of anything that may have occurred in there."  
  
Almost as if on que, Glen lunged at Brass, gripping his throat. Nick and two officers pryed him away. It looked to Catherine and Sara as if he'd said something to Brass. When Brass got off the floor, he looked toward the mirror, then back at the suspect.  
  
"We won't have to worry about that, Mr. Albright," Brass said in a very monotone voice, his face still white. "You're going to be lucky if you see the light of day ever again."  
  
"Who says I'm the one who's gonna do it?," Glen replied in a cool composed manner. Nick looked at Brass expecting him to let him know what was going on. Brass glanced toward the mirror again. He hoped Grissom had caught what Glen had said.  
  
Grissom stared blankly through the mirror. He'd gotten exceptionally good at reading lips and he wasn't too thrilled with what he had seen. Watching Sara? That would mean that Sara was in danger the whole time and he never knew it. He looked at her. She seemed less than amused with his protective side.  
  
Glen was cuffed and led out of the room. Brass met up with Grissom in the hall. They waited till Catherine and Sara were out of earshot.   
  
"You hear him Gil?," Brass asked.  
  
"Didn't have to," he pointed at his ears. "When you start losing your hearing, reading lips is one of the first things you master."  
  
Brass nodded and glanced down the hall ti where Sara and Nick were talking.  
  
"If he has a partner after Sara, Mobley will put Ecklie on it," Brass remarked. Grissom shot him a look.  
  
"Conrad Ecklie won't get the chance," he growled. "I'd find her before he finds his first piece of evidence."  
  
Brass nodded. He knew that Grissom really shouldn't go against his supervisor, and Sherriff Brian Mobley would be sure to act on it, but he also understood where Grissom stood on this topic. Whether he'd admit it or not, he loved Sara. 


	4. Tell Her

"I'm just frustrated," Sara admitted. Catherine looked at her and smiled.  
  
"He's just trying to keep you safe," she reasoned. "Besides, you saw that guy try to kill Brass. What if it was you instead."  
  
Sara sighed and looked down at the clipboard in her hands. She wasn't angry that he'd pulled her out of the room, but enfuriated by the fact that he 'cared' so much but was still adamant about them not being together. She'd be better off if he'd let her think he didn't care. She knew he was watching from down the hall, talking to Brass about something. She realized that Brass was probably telling Grissom what had been said.  
  
Sara pulled her gaze away. She hadn't realized she'd been looking into hi eyes until Catherine cleared her throat.  
  
"Go somewhere?," she teased.  
  
"Just wondering what that creep said to Brass," she quickly replied. Catherine cocked her head to the side.  
  
"I hope you don't mean Grissom."  
  
"Huh? Oh. No, the suspect. I was wondering what he whispered to Brass."  
  
"Uh huh," Catherine said and smiled. Well I'm sure he'll tell you if its important. Its not just my case, you know."  
  
"So he'll tell you not to forget to tell me."  
  
"Sara he's not that cold," Catherine scolded. Sara looked at her. "I'm sure he'll tell you."  
  
Sara nodded. She didn't really agree, but figured it would be better if Catherine believed she did. Grissom had seemed tense after Brass was attacked. And he'd kept glancing at her.  
  
----  
  
Grissom sat behind his desk. He rocked slightly in his chair with his foot on the desk. If someone where after any of his CSI's he'd be enfuriated. He'd go after anyone who messed with his team, but Sara was a different story. Where the others were concerned he'd go after someone, but with Sara, he'd kill someone.  
  
He heard a soft knock on the door. Within seconds, his foot was on the floor, chair turned and he held a file in front of him.  
  
"Can I come in?," Catherine asked from the doorway. He gestured for her to sit down. "What did he say?"  
  
He looked up at her.  
  
"What do you mean?," he asked. "What did who say?"  
  
"Glen Albright," she remarked. "Don't play stupid with me, Gil. What did he say to Jim in that room? I know you can read lips."  
  
He sighed and met her gaze. She'd known him for years and right now she knew something was up. There was no way she was going to believe it was nothing.  
  
"Cath you have to promise not to tell anyone," he calmly said, waiting for her to nod before continuing. "He said if we put him away, he's make sure Sara was 'taken care of'. He said he's been watching her."  
  
Catherine hid he amused look.   
  
"So he's after Sara," she remarked, trying not to seem interested in his exact thoughts on this. "Gil, he probably just used her because she was in the room."  
  
"If he touches her I'll kill him."  
  
Catherine choked. He'd been very clear about his feeelings just then. Even with her he'd never been that open. She was amazed.  
  
"Gil," she whispered, putting her hand on his arm. "Why don't you tell her? Shift is over in five minutes."  
  
"I can't panick her," he reasoned, tossing the file nack onto his desk. "What if it really is nothing."  
  
"I meant that you love her," Catherine remarked, standing up and going to walk out.  
  
"Catherine," he warned, letting her know she'd crossed a line. She just smirked and walked out of his office.

* * *

thanks for the reviews, guys. i promise something is going to happen in the next chapter. thanks again.


	5. I Don't Know What to Do About This

i promised that something would happen. this is the longest chapter so far. enjoy

* * *

Sara walked out the doors and over to her car. The sun had begun to rise so she reached into her bag to pull out her sunglasses. It took her a moment to find them, but at least she hadn't had to empty her purse this time. She placed them on her head and pulled her keys out of her pocket. She jumped a mile when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Sara calm down," Grissom said calmly. "Just me."  
  
"God you scared me," she exclaimed, trying to turn awy from him.  
  
"Sara," he began, looking at her and trying to bring himself to say what needed to be said. "I..."  
  
"Yes?," she questioned, trying to draw whatever it was out of him.  
  
"I need you to be careful, Sara," he said finally. "You were angry with me for pulling you out of danger." She looked away from him and pursed her lips like she always did when she was angry. "Sara, I don't want you getting hurt."  
  
"Too late, Gris," she snapped. She bit the inside of her lip and turned the key in the car door.  
  
"Stay with me tonight," he quickly replied in an attempt to keep her safe.  
  
"No," she retorted. "I can't." She glared at him coldly. "I don't know what to do about this."  
  
"Don't do this, Sara," he whispered, recognizing his own words mirrored back to him.  
  
"Don't do what?"  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"But you did."  
  
He looked down at his feet. She was bitter toward him but needed her to be safe. However he couldn't bring himself to tell her what was wrong.  
  
"Sara, I just don't want you to... I just... please be careful," he sighed. She looked into his eyes and her mood lightened. She nodded. Then a small smile spread across her lips.   
  
"You wanna come over and check for the boogeyman under my bed?," she teased, getting her playful attitude back, obviously not expecting him to agree.  
  
"If you don't mind," he responded. Sara whirled around quickly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If you don't mind I would love to come home with you," he replied, feeling confidence in the truth of his words.  
  
"You okay, Gris?," she questioned.  
  
"I don't want you to be alone tonight."  
  
Her playful attitude disapeared. She looked up at him, trying to decipher what he was saying.  
  
"I don't think its a good idea, Grissom," she sighed. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes.  
  
"Sara please."  
  
He was begging now and Sara begun her suspicion. He was never this desperate. There had to be something else bothering him.  
  
"What's wrong?," she questioned. "Why now? There's something else going on."  
  
He smiled slightly. He should have guessed she'd see right through it. After all, he'd taught her everything she knew. She squeezed his hand gently, making him realize he still held her hand in his. He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed it.  
  
"I just want to make sure you're ok."  
  
"What did he say to Brass," she asked pulling her hand back. Grissom looked into her eyes, knowing she'd figured it out for herself already.  
  
"He's after you, Sara."  
  
"But he's in jail now. So he can't come after me."  
  
"And if he has a partner?"  
  
Sara pulled back her jacket, revealing her beretta.  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"You've never even fired that outside of training."  
  
"And I was top of my class in California."  
  
He sighed and looked up at her again.  
  
"This isn't a game," he whispered. "I don't want anything to happen to you."  
  
"I'll be fine," she replied, getting in her car and putting the window down. "You can follow me home, but you're not staying. Please stop making it so hard to get over you."  
  
She put up her window, hardly believing what she'd just said. She watched him retreat to his car, waiting for him to start the engine before pullig out of the parking lot.  
  
----  
  
Catherine smiled as she watched Grissom's car pull out after Sara's.  
  
"That a boy, Gil," she whispered, then turned the key in the ignition. She fixed her sunglasses then looked at the clock. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten out of work on time. Her smile grew brighter at the thought of actually being able to take her daughter, Lindsey, to school. It had been such a long time since she'd been able to. She just prayed she'd have no problem's this time.  
  
It seemed like every time she'd walked into the school at least two teachers wanted to talk to her. Today was no exception.  
  
"Mrs. Willows?," Lindsey's teacher called as Catherine was about to leave. She turned around to face the woman and out of the corner of her eye noticed Lindsey sinking into her seat.  
  
"Is there a problem?," Catherine asked, trying to stay as calm as possible. She was tired and getting cranky.  
  
"Lindsey has been extremely difficult lately," the teacher remarked, closing the classroom door so her other students wouldn't hear. "Mrs. Willows, she claims that she's trying to be like you, however such behavior is unacceptable in a school environment."  
  
"What did she do, exactly?," Catherine asked nervously. She was very annoyed at this point but she vaguely remembered Lindsey finding some old pictures from when she was a dancer. It had taken her weeks to convince Lindsey that taking her shirt off anywhere she wanted wasn't a good thing.  
  
"She decided to create a crime scene out of our playground."  
  
"She's a little girl," Catherine remarked, relieved that it had been the latter part of her mother's life Lindsey had chosen to emulate. "I don't see any harm in her playing a game."  
  
"But, Mrs. Willows, she wouldn't let the other students on it."  
  
"Look, I'll talk to her, but right now, I just got off shift and I'm really tired," she snapped. She held up her hand when the teacher went to speak. "Later on, after I get up, I'll come pick her up and we'll have a nice little chat. Have a good day.  
  
Catherine turned around and left. She didn't want to argue. She was grateful to make it out of the school without being stopped again, and she definately planned on calling Grissom.  
  
----  
  
Grissom stared blankly at the clock in his townhouse. He'd only been home for about fifteen minutes, but he was already contemplating calling to check on Sara. He fought the urge and sat down on his couch. He tried to fall asleep to a Pink Floyd album, but his head was swimming with all the things he could have done when she'd asked him to dinner. But he'd losst his chance. He finally fell asleep as the cd had begun its third rotation.


	6. Not Like Her

sorry for the long wait. the next chapter will be up a lot quicker. thanks for your patience and thanks to all of the reviewers. you guys make me think i'm doing something right. this chapter's kinda short. the next one will be longer i promise.

* * *

Sara couldn't believe he'd followed her all the way home. She'd regretted telling him no the second the words left her mouth, but she wasn't going to leave herself open for him to hurt her again.  
  
She turned the key to her apartment and turned the knob. The door was locked. Confused, she checked to see if she'd used the right key. Then she tried it again. This time the door opened no problem. She just shrugged and stepped inside, closing the door behind her and setting her things on the floor. She reached over to a lamp to turn it on. There was no bulb.  
  
'Just have to open the curtains,' she thought and started to walk toward the window. He grabbed her before she'd taken two steps.  
  
----   
  
Catherine looked down at her watch for the tenth time. It wasn't like Sara to be late. They needed to get back to the house and look for evidence of a second killer, but Sara was fifteen minutes late for the start of shift. Catherine shifted her weight. She didn't want to panic Grissom, but Sara hadn't answered her cell phone either. She thought for a moment, then ran to Grissom's office.  
  
----  
  
Grissom was looking over a reminder about employee evaluations. He hated this part of his job. He'd much rather be in the field than behind a desk, but his postion put him there alot. His head jerked up when Catherine burst through the door. "Gil.... did.... Sara call.... you?," she sputtered breathlessly.  
  
His eyes grew wide. Sara wasn't in work and she hadn't called off.  
  
"Sit down," he ordered. "When you catch your breath meet me at Sara's."  
  
"Gil.... don't go.... alone."  
  
"I'm taking Nick."  
  
She nodded and he rushed out, grabbing Nick on his way to the parking lot.


	7. Where am I?

once again i thank you for all the reviews. you guys are the best. as i promised things are slowly starting to happen. it wouldn't be suspense if i didn't keep you in suspense, lol. i'm trying to upload at least once a day. here's the next installment. enjoy

* * *

Sara's house was a mess. Papers were thrown around, there was shattered glass everywhere and Sara was missing. Brass and Greg showed up with Catherine and Warrick showed up ten minutes later.  
  
Grissom had already marked and cleared all the evidence from the bedroom. He sat on her bed, staring at a photo on her nightstand. He remembered when it was taken, but when he saw the look on her face as she looked up at him, he wished he'd been looking at her when Catherine had snapped the picture. Her eyes were so full of love, he wanted to cry thinking about how he'd turned her down.  
  
"That's such a good picture," Catherine remarked looking over his shoulder. "The best company Christmas party we ever had."  
  
Grissom sighed and put the picture back on Sara's night stand.  
  
"Last year," he sighed, then looked up at Catherine. "Find anything?"  
  
"Traces of blood, signs of struggle," she sighed. "Gil, its not like they left a note. If Sara's alive, you have to snap out of it and help us before he kills her, or Ecklie gets the case."  
  
He looked up at her and pulled himself off the bed.  
  
"I want to know if its her blood," he remarked. "Send Greg back with it. Have him page me as soon as he gets the results. I'm going to check the closet."  
  
Catherine nodded and walked out of the bedroom.  
  
----  
  
'Where the hell am I?,' Sara thought as she regained conciousness. The room was pitch black. She tried to move and found her hands were tied.  
  
"Awake yet?," a low male voice came from seemingly nowhere.  
  
"Where am I?," she spat out.  
  
He laughed. The sharp sound of his voice startled her. She tried to jump back and jammed her shoulder against something sharp. She could feel her warm blood trickling down her arm.  
  
The light came on. Sara closed her eyes.  
  
"I see why he likes you," the man laughed. "Good old Glen."  
  
'Glen,' she thought. That name sounded familiar. Oh yeah, the suspect from her murder case.   
  
"Where am I?," she repeated. This time she could see him. His cold blue eyes stared down at her in bitterness as she tried in vain to nurse her wounded shoulder. She only succeeded in ripping the wound open even more than it was.  
  
The man pulled out a syringe and filled it with the contents of a small bottle.  
  
"Time to go to sleep, Sara," he growled and stuck the needle into her neck. She screamed out in pain, but a few seconds later, she felt like she was falling. And all she could hear was his shrill laughter.  
  
----  
  
Greg stared at CODIS for a few long minutes. He'd decided against comparing the sample when he realized that this option gave him the opportunity to brace himself in case the blood was Sara's. He'd had a crush on her, and Catherine too, for the longest time. She was also one of his best friends.  
  
The computer beeped, displaying the message 'No Match'. Greg stood up and looked at the screen. He'd have to do a comparitive test to be sure, but he was relieved. All CSI's DNA was filed into CODIS. Grissom hadn't missed anything when training the new lab techs.  
  
----  
  
Grissom's cell phone rang just as he was leaving Sara's apartment.   
  
"Grissom."  
  
"Gris, I've got news for you," Greg babbled over the phone, too excited for his usual cryptic banter. He stood in the lab holding a piece of paper in his trembling hands. "The blood at the scene isn't Sara's. Gris, its not her blood."  
  
Grissom looked over his shoulder at Catherine. He turned around to face her.  
  
"Thanks Greg," he put his cell phone back in his pocket.  
  
"Is it her?," Catherine asked, her eyes begging for good news.  
  
"Results are negative," Grissom smiled although his eyes threatened to release his tears at any moment. "Its not Sara."  
  
There was a collective sigh of relief among all of the present CSI's.  
  
"They don't have a match on the blood we found, do they?," Nick questioned.  
  
"No," Grissom sighed. He squeezed his hand around the shirt he'd stuffed in his pocket. His mind wandered slightly, wondering if Sara was still alive. 


	8. Burning

Thanks for your reviews. I don't mean to keep you all in suspense, well, maybe I do. But I assure you its never what it seems. This is the next chapter. But its not over yet. This is no where near the end of the story. Just trust me.  
  
Grissom spread all of the evidence out on the table in the break room. It wasn't much use. All of the prints were Sara's and there wasn't a stray hair to be found. Wouldn't have mattered much if there was, since the blood came back unknown. He sighed and rested his head on his hands.  
  
Normally, Conrad Ecklie would have taken an opportunity like this to gloat, but he'd been briefed on the situation, not to mention threatened by Catherine. He leaned against the doorframe, watching silently. Finally he decided to break the silence.  
  
"Gil?," he knocked gently on the door. "I need to take those now."  
  
"Please, Conrad, just one more moment," Grissom pleaded. "There's nothing here. Its all clean."  
  
"Gil, Mobley doesn't want you near any of this," Ecklie reasoned. "He'll drop the case if he thinks you tampered with it. Now, do you want to find her or not?"  
  
Grissom met Ecklie's gaze and siently started to put everything back into the box.  
  
----  
  
Nick and Warrick had been assigned to a burned DB found in a backyard burn barrel.  
  
"Aren't these things illegal?," Nick asked, shaking his head. He was doing his best to ignore the smell of smoldering flesh.  
  
"Some parts of the county allow it," Warrick answered, also trying to ignore the smell. "But murder is always illegal."  
  
Nick shone his flashlight on something on the ground. It shimmered as the light passed over it. He leaned down to pick it up and tears began to fill his eyes.  
  
"Whatcha got?," Warrick asked looking over Nick's shoulder.  
  
"Its Sara's ID," Nick shuddered. He silently picked up his cell phone and dialed Grissom's number.  
  
----  
  
Doctor Robbins looked at the charred remains on the table in front of him. For the first time he felt wrong about doing an autopsy. This one was different. This time there was a good chance he was looking at Sara and his heart grew heavy as he reluctantly put his tools. He looked up to meet Grissom's grave gaze.  
  
"Is it her?," Grissom questioned.  
  
"Gil," Robbins started.  
  
Grissom nodded, understanding before he'd asked that it wsn't possible to know that yet. He watched as Robbins made dental impressions and then prepared for the actual autopsy. 


	9. Breaking Point

No one said a word. Nick and Warrick stood silently in the corner of the break room while Catherine openly cried. Grissom had locked himself in his office, refusing to speak to anyone.  
He'd never be able to tell her how much he loved her now. He'd never see her beautiful smile or hear her beautiful voice again. Things he'd taken for granted now seemed like the world and thw world, his world, was gone and he felt so lost and alone. He could hear Catherine's sobs nearing so he stayed as quiet and still as possible.  
"Gil," she sobbed. "Gil, let me in, please."  
She waited for just a moment before she attempted to punch through the heavy glass beside the door.  
"Ow," she whispered, crying and craddling her quickly bruising hand.  
"Cath, I'm okay," he sighed, feeling bad about her hurting herself. "I just need some time."  
'Time,' he thought. 'Sara ran out of time. I didn't find her in time to save her'  
Tears flowed freely from his blue eyes, now clouded with anger and sadness and regret. Suddenly he stood and flipped his desk.  
"Gil!," Catherine screamed from just outside the door. Despite her injured hand, she banged on the door violently as the sounds of smashing glass and thrown furniture could be heard from within the office. Greg, who had been hiding in an empty room, quickly rushed out to hold her back so she wouldn't hurt herself anymore.  
"Let me go!," she shrieked, clawing at his arms. "He's going to hurt himself. Gil!!"  
The crashing stopped abruptly and sobbing could be heard from within the office. Catherine stopped thrashing around in Greg's arms. She fell limp, crying on his chest as he smoothed her blonde hair away from her face.  
The labs were silent with the exception of Grissom and Catherine's crying. The world seemed to stop and time seemed to stand still. Sara Sidle was dead and no one knew how to react.  
  
"Amanda," the man's voice was gentle, coaxing her from a deep sleep. She stirred slightly, opening he eyes and looking at the man gently shaking her.  
"Huh?," was all she managed to get out before her eyes shut again. He was talking to her, but she didn't recognize him and her name was not Amanda. Or was it? What was her name? Her head felt like someone had hit her with a truck. Her eyes fluttered open and stared at the man talking to her.  
"Good morning, Amanda," he cooed. Her face held a puzzled expression. "That's one hel of a fall you had."  
"Where am I?," she whispered hoarsly. "Who are you?"  
He held her down as she struggled to find her feet.  
"Calm down. baby," he said. "It's me, Mike. You're home."  
"Please don't hurt me," she pleaded, trying to squirm from his grip. He realeased her and slowly backed away.  
"I would never hurt you in any way. See that ring on your finger? I want to marry you not kill you."  
"Marry me?"  
"Yes, baby."  
"Who am I?"  
Michael Yurdi was a patient man. He sighed and made eye contact with her.  
"Your name is Amanda Peters," he remarked, speaking slowly so he wouldn't overwhelm her. "You're twenty-six and you live her, in Las Vegas, with me. Teo days ago you fell down the stairs. I had the doctor come here to see you. He said you'd be fine, but he did warn me you may have some short term memory loss."  
She blinked her eyes. She couldn't remember him and she couldn't imagine living in a house so untidy.  
"My head hurts," she whispered after silently wheighing the story in her head. She gave into it and allowed him to cradle her. He twined her soft brown hair around his finger as she drifted off once more. 


	10. First Kill

Sorry this chapter is so short. It was originally longer but i wanted to keep two scenes together so i shortened this one a bit. Thanks for all your reviews. I'll have the next chapter up real soon.

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Amanda could hardly believe that the gun was in her hand. Mike said to just stand there and hold it on the wife while he took the husband for a walk. She looked at the gun in her hand. Something wasn't right. She pulled a cloth from the table next to her and thouroughly wiped down the gun, holding it with the cloth. Her mind seemed to tell her what an investigator would be looking for, though she guessed it was probably just too much television.  
Mike walked back in, his black leather gloves and the front of his shirt were soaked with blood. Amanda's mouth hung open in shock.  
"Shoot her," Mike said cooly. The woman began to cry harder. Amanda handed Mike the gun.  
"I can't."  
"It'll come back to you," he nodded and smiled at her, then aimed at the wife's head and pulled the trigger. Amanda jumped back.  
  
Catherine stepped gingerly around the body of a young woman murdered in her own home. Her husband had been found in the yard and Catherine prayed that Grissom was having better luck with that then she was.  
"Finally," she whispered, pulling a few strands of long brown hair from a low hanging light fixture. "Must have hit their head."  
  
It had been a few days. Grissom had stopped taking assignments and barely left his office. Greg was finally getting caught up on his work. Somehow he'd passed over evidence from one of Catherine's cases from a few days back. He pulled a few strands of hair from a bindle and sighed. He began processing the hair.


	11. Morning News

thank you again for your reviews. special thanks to Bradybunch4529 for the welcome back. i missed all of you too!!! I promise this is the last short chapter. enjoy.

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"Grissom!," Greg exclaimed as he burst into the office. "Oh god, Gris, look at this."  
He placed a paper downin front of the supervisor and stepped back. Grissom's tired gaze shifted from Greg to the paper. His eyes widened as he read it.  
"This is impossible, Greg," he sighed.  
"I knew that's what you'd say," Greg reasoned. "Gris I checked it and double checked it. And I checked it again for good measure. It's definately Sara's hair."  
"Is this a bad time?," Jaqui asked, standing in the doorway.  
"What do you have?," Grissom questioned.  
"Well, the handgun from Catherine's double homicide gave me some smudged partials," she began. "Took me a while to play with em, but AFIS gave me a match. Sara Sidle."  
  
Amanda looked at the front of the papaer in shock. The headline read 'Las Vegas Criminalist May Still Be Alive', but the heading had lost her gaze as soon as she looked at the picture. The woman's name was Sara Sidle, but Amanda could have sworn she was looking into a mirror.  
"Amanda?," Mike questioned, putting his arms around her.  
"She looks just like me."  
Mike took the paper out of her hands.  
"Don't worry about it," he cooed. "The less of them there are the harder it will be for them to catch us."  
She nodded, but her mind was racing. She wondered why the name Sara Sidle seemed so familiar. And why the picture gave her the thought, 'I wonder what Grissom is thinking'. Who was Grissom anyway?


	12. Sara's Alive

I am incredibly sorry for not updating sooner. I moved into a new house and it took me a while to get my computer back online. I wish I could personally apologize to all of you. Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

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"Run it again," Grissom ordered, reading the twenty-eith printout from CODIS.  
"Gris they're all coming out the same," Greg sighed. He was getting tired of running the results on the hairs. He'd much rather trying to find Sara.  
"Gil, is this necessary?," Catherine questioned, seeing the desperation in Greg's eyes. "We need to find her, not just run the same hairs through CODIS a million times."  
"I just want to make sure its her," Grissom retorted.  
"Gris, its her!," Greg exclaimed. "CODIS cannot be wrong almost thirty times! The longer we sit here...."  
He did n't have to finish what he was saying. Grissom jumped up and ran to Brass's office while Greg and Catherine silently thanked god for finally making him do something.  
  
----  
  
"Jim!," Grissom exclaimed, catching his breath in the doorway of his startled friend. "Sara's alive."  
He placed the stack of papers in Brass's hands and waited for the detective to comment on it.  
"Gil, are you sure?," he asked, looking up.  
"I had Greg run it over and over again," Grissom answered. "She's out there somewhere and I'm going to find her and bring her back."  
"I'm not sure you can do that," Brass remarked.  
"Don't try to tell me that Ecklie..."  
"Slow down, Gil," Brass said calmly. "I used to do what you're doing now, remember? I want her back too, but be reasonable. You don't have enough evidence to find her."  
Grissom put his head down in defeat.  
"She's alive, Jim."  
"Gil, let Ecklie help you. You may have better CSI's but you need all the help you can get right now."  
Grissom sighed and looked up. He slowly nodded.  
  
----  
  
Amanda looked down. The man's blood was seeping into the white rug beneath her feet, creating a strangely shaped pool of blood.  
"Good work, baby," Mike cooed, watching as Amanda stepped back away from the growing pool.  
Amanda looked down at her blood soaked hands. She was silent. She watched Mike take the knife from her hand and fling it across the room. He'd made a mistake. And she was too shocked at what she'd done to point out he had no gloves on.


	13. Terrified

"Grissom!," Conrad Ecklie bellowed as he burst through the door to Grissom's office. "We found trace evidence of CSI Sidle at a crime scene this morning."  
Catherine, who was sitting across from Grissom, was the first to acknowledge his statement.  
"Conrad we know Sara's killed before," she began. He interrupted her next sentence.  
"We also found trace belonging to a Michael Yurdi. We have an address."  
Grissom jumped out of his seat and grabbed his jacket.  
"I'm going with you."  
Ecklie decided not to argue and just followed Grissom out of the office, throwing Catherine a satisfied smirk before disappearing out the door.  
"Glory hound," she remarked, grabbing her car keys from Grissom's desk and going to find Nick and Warrick.  
  
----  
  
Mike's aparment now resembled a magazine for housewives. It was spotless. There were large comfortable chairs and a window seat with thick cushions. Grissom picked up a book turned pages down on the windowsill. A journal. Written in Sara's handwriting.  
His cell phone ran, startling everyone in the room.  
"Grissom," he answered slowly, not recognizing the number that came up.  
"Oh god," a bewildered voice whispered on the other end. "I.. I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number."  
"Sara?"  
"Who?," Amanda asked curiously, remembering the similarities between herself and the missing criminalist, Sara Sidle. "Umm, my name is Amanda. Sorry to bother you."  
"Its alright, Amanda," Grissom sighed. "You sound alot like a friend of mine."  
"Sara Sidle."  
Now she knew she'd crossed a line. She looked around to make sure Mike wasn't close.  
"How did you know that?"  
Grissom walked away from the others so he could talk to her in private.  
"She looks like me. Her picture from the paper."  
"What did you say your name was again?"  
"Amanda. Look, Mr. Grissom, I don't know how i got your number. I just picked up the phone and dialed it and quite frankly its scaring the shit out of me that I'm talking to a man that probably wants me put away. But then I look at this picture and I don't know who Amanda is, but I know things that your friend should know."  
"Amanda, where are you now?"  
"I can't tell you that, Mr. Grissom. I already told you, I'm terrified of you. Mike and I left the apartment so you wouldn't find us. I've got to go."  
"Sara, don't...."  
She'd already hung up, and Catherine stood in front of him, a strange expression on her face.  
"Sara?," she questioned, giving him a typical 'you've got a lot of explaining to do' look.  
"Michael Yurdi's girlfriend, Amanda," Grissom explained as a picture of Mike and Amanda caught his eye. He picked it up and showed it to Catherine. "Amanda is Sara."  
Catherine studied the picture. The girl was most definately Sara. She even had the scar on her hand from the lab explosion a few years back.  
"Looks like she is very much alive," Catherine agreed.  
"But she doesn't know who she is," he added.  
"Trace the call?"  
"You read my mind."  
  
----  
  
Amanda stared at her cell phone. She felt uneasy. It almost seemed right for him to call her Sara.  
Mike walked out of the hotel bathroom.  
"Who were you talking to?," he asked.  
"I forgot my journal at the apartment. I was just kicking myself."  
He nodded and put his arms around her. 


	14. Rescued

I'm on a roll now. Thanks for reading and reviewing my little story. 2 more chapters and its over though, and then I'll have to think up something else to post. lol. Well the president is taking over CSI's time slot tonight so I have a little time to think about it. Now on to chapter 14.

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Grissom had beat the police to the hotel. He knew he'd be in a lot of trouble for going up without them, but he was armed and that sicko had Sara. And Sara believe she was someone else. He pulled out his gun as he neared the room.  
  
----  
  
Amanda sat alone in the bathtub. The water was a crimson red and tears fell freely from her eyes. She heard the door to the room snap open and she screamed loudly despite her efforts to stay calm.  
  
----  
  
Grissom panicked when he entered the room. There was blood everywhere and he'd heard Sara scream.  
"Sara!," he called out desperately, hoping she could answer. "Sara!!"  
"Gil, get out of there!," Brass ordered, but Grissom ignored him. He had to find her.  
"Grissom!," Sara yelled out from the bathroom. She remembered who she was now. She wasn't Amanda Peters.. She never had been. She put her hand up to her throat. Ugly purple and blue bruises in the shape of hands had begun to form. She wasn't a killer. But the realization that she had killed was setting in. She'd killed that man and now she'd killed Mike. She'd said before that she could never kill another human being and now she had. Twice. "Sara, honey," Grissom said softly as he took a towel and lifted her from the tub. She clung to him and sobbed into his shirt. "Don't come in here. I'll take care of her."  
"I didn't... mean... to," she sobbed. He could see the bruising around her throat.  
"Shh. It's ok, honey," he said, holding on to her.  
Mike's body lay between the wall and the bed with a knife lodged in his throat. He'd never hurt anyone again.  
  
----  
  
The entire lab was quiet. Sara was back, but any thought of celebration was thwarted by the presence of handcuffs on her wrists. She'd killed Mike,and, although Grissom had violently argued self defense, the DA was adamant about her standing trial for it. They claimed it would seem as though they were doing special favors for CSI unless they left it up to a judge and jury.  
Grissom sat alone with Sara in her holding cell. She was resting her head on his chest.  
"Gris," she whispered, having barely spoken since they'd left the hotel.  
"What honey?"  
"I killed him."  
"Mike deserved it."  
"Not him, Gris. That case that Ecklie was working on."  
"They found Mike's fingerprints on the knife. The only thing they're accusing you of is killing Mike."  
"I can't lie to them."  
"You have to, Sara. I can't lose you again."  
She looked up at him in shock.  
"You want me to lie to the police?"  
"Its not really a lie. He had you brainwashed."  
She considered it for a moment and nodded. Then she put her head back on his chest.


	15. Trials and Celebrations

as i promised things are moving quicker than before. sadly this is the next to last chapter. thank you all for your reviews. you've all been a great inspiration and i appreciate you taking the time to read my story.

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All of the night shift CSI's had crowded into the back row of the court room. Catherine sat between Nick and Warrick, holding both their hands. Grissom moved to the front to sit behind Sara. She turned around to look at him a few times, both for support and to make sure he hadn't left her. For the most part she kept her cool, though she wanted to scream.  
They were accusing her of murder, but if she hadn't killed him he sure as hell would have killed her. She couldn't imagine how she could have been so easy for him to catch. She was normally so careful. She wished she could remember what she'd been thinking, but some of her memories were still foggy at best.  
When Ecklie took the witness stand, Sara's heart was in her throat. Ecklie would give anything to prove that he was better than Grissom and that included finding anything and everything he could to bring the night shift CSI's down. Sara panicked. She turned to Grissom, wondering if Ecklie knew what she's told Grissom when they were in her cell. She turned back around and pleaded with her eyes for Ecklie to help her rather than hurt her. Ecklie, for his part, seemed very supportive of Sara.  
"There is enough evidence to prove that, had Miss Sidle not killed Michael Yurdi, she herself would certainly be dead now," he explained. "Hand-shaped bruising around her throat as well as petikial hemmoraging indicate that she was in danger."  
Sara stared at him, dumbfounded. Not once had he tried to put her down. And he'd smiled at her reassuringly. She gave him a weak smile then glanced backward at Grissom. He nodded, though in disbelief himself, and she smiled.  
  
----  
  
"Must fell pretty good to take off those bracelets," Brass joked.  
Sara laughed calmly. She was sitting in Grissom's chair and he was standing behind her, one hand on her shoulder.  
"Gil, do you really have to let her go?," Catherine asked, not wanting to have to say goodbye now that Sara was back.  
" I am tachnically supposed to," he sighed, playing with Sara's hair. She narrowed her eyes at him and swatted his hand away. "But I think I'd rather dealwith Mobley than face an angry Sara. Besides, it'll save her the trouble of changing her identity and ra-applying. We all know she can't stay away.  
Sara smiled and looked up at him. She liked this. He was acting the way she'd always wanted him to. It was everything she'd ever dreamed of, but it all felt like a dream.  
'Does it take him thinking I'm dead to actually care?,' she thought as his hand found its way back to her hair.  
As the others left his office, Sara's smile faded. She wasn't sure what he'd do when they were alone.  
"Sara, I'm sorry," he said, finally breaking the silence.  
"For what,Gil?"  
A shiver ran through him as she said his first name. It sounded so good coming from her.  
"It took me too long to tell you how I really feel."  
"Oh."  
Her response didn't really thrill him. He wasn't sure if she accepted his appology. He also didn't know what she was thinking and it scared him, thinking she may have been right in the beginning and it may really be too late. After what seemed like an eternity of sitting in silence she stood up and walked toward the door. His heart threatened to pound through his chest as he searched his mind for something to say to keep her from walking out. He'd froze up. Sara reached the door and glanced back at him. She smirked and locked the door, turning around and finding Grissom with an astonished expression, his mouth hung open. She smiled at the sight and walked back to him, pushing him down into his chair. She was curious just how far he'd go. Would he really take this big a risk? She straddled him.  
"Sara.."  
"Shh."  
She kissed him deeply, starting to unbuttton his shirt. She then made short work of the rest of their clothing, discarding them beneath his desk, the whole while barely losing contact with his lips.  
"Sara..."  
"What, Gil? You didn't try to stop me while I was undressing you. Why now?"  
He smiled sort of shyly, running his fingertips down her cheek.  
"I was just wondering if we should use protestion."  
She smiled and kissed him.  
"I'm sick of being careful. I don't want to have to need a barrier to touch someone, especially you."  
"What if.. you get pregnant?"  
"Then I guess you'll be a daddy Gil."  
  
----  
  
Greg was in shock. He stood in his lab, staring at the CD player, wondering if he had anything sexual in his 'at work' music library. He couldn't believe that he'd just heard moaning from Grissom's office.


	16. Shutter

Just a bit of comedy to end a pretty serious story. enjoy

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Catherine stood outside the door, key in hand. She wasn't sure when the most opportune moment to walk in would be, but she was sure there would be a perfect moment. Clutching her camera she checked to make sure she was the only one in the hall before throwing open the door. she took a few pictures as they scrambled for their clothes.  
"Beautiful, Gil," she laughed.  
"I am so gonna kill you," Sara murmured as she fumbled with the zipper of her jeans. "I love you two," Catherine laughed. She walked away, leaving Grissom and Sara in his office. Sara burst into laughter.  
"Did that just happen?," Grissom questioned in disbelief. Sara continued to laugh and pressed her lips to his.  
"I love you, Gil Grissom," she purred, kissing him deeply.  
"And I love you, Sara Sidle."


End file.
